


Epochs Without

by PunchRockgroin



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-03
Updated: 2012-12-03
Packaged: 2017-11-20 04:00:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/581084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PunchRockgroin/pseuds/PunchRockgroin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SGRUB never happened, and so Sollux and Feferi were allowed to make each other as happy as they were destined to without impediment.</p>
<p>For a while, at least. But lowbloods don't live very long, and if Feferi can't find a way to reverse the passage of time, she'll be left alone.</p>
<p>Forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Epochs Without

Every night, she dreamed of losing him.

This was not uncommon in matespritships, actually. Alternia was a big, dangerous place, and although Feferi personally knew the biggest and most dangerous thing on the planet, there were a lot of creatures running around competing for second place.

She was no stranger to death. She had never killed a fellow troll in anything but self defense, but Feferi had borne personal witness to small genocides. In her old FLARP days, she had watched trolls die by boatload, holes blown in their chest and heads sliced from their bodies, a torrent of rainbow blood spilling into her ocean, eventually all muddling into dark, hopeless brown.

She fed their lusii to hers, tentacles snaking around every manner of beast imaginable as enormous creatures were torn apart like morsels. Gl'b Golyb was but an emissary, a tiny fraction of the size of some of the creatures that lurked far from the fringes of the empire. Every day, the monster reminded her of the fragility of life- entities a hundred times her size and strength could be torn apart with a twitch.

Friends had died, too- Aradia, blown apart in a mysterious explosion. Vriska, her sins catching up to her in time. Even Eridan, poor Eridan, who fell into darkness and attacked her. Sollux had killed him- nobles were no hardier than the rest of them.

In nine short sweeps, the most miniscule portion of her astounding lifespan, Feferi had seen thousands of existences snuffed out like candles. Violent deaths, almost each and every one, were such a common occurrence that she grew utterly cold to it.

No, what she feared was age.

If one was smart and savvy and knew when to run away and when to fight, they could live out close to their entire lifespan. But there was no killer quite as skilled, quite as deadly with his weapons, as time. He never failed to bring in a quarry eventually.

And time now breathed down the neck of Sollux. Her love.

Mustard bloods didn’t live very long- fifteen or twenty sweeps. Half or more of Sollux’s time was over.. He didn’t even notice, didn’t even seem to be aware that he was going to condemn Feferi to _epochs_ without him.

She noticed, though. In time, it was all she noticed.

He kept asking why she stared at him with a sad smile, and she didn’t answer. He failed to awaken when she rose in the middle of the day,shaking and sobbing, having that dreadful dream of his dessicated body turning to ash in her arms. He just kept living his blissful little life, every passing second like a scrap of flesh being shaved off.

She wouldn’t let him go. She couldn’t.

One night, the sky broke, and a tremendous vessel touched down on the water above her hive. A woman swum out, tall and lithe and beautiful and terrifying. _Her Imperial Condescension,_ she identified herself. _A pleasure to finally meet you._

Feferi returned the sentiment, fully aware that neither was actually happy to see the other. To the Empress, Feferi was a necessary evil; a stupid little girl that might one day be a halfway competent ruler. To Feferi, meanwhile, her ancestor was the one who had created the vicious, unforgiving world she and her friends found themselves on. There was no love here.

The Empress took her aboard the flagship, the terror of all of known space. Everything in it was chrome and oppressive and power. This was a ship to rule existence from.

And it had a most ingenious power source.

A man, tall and pointy, hooked in by a thousand pulsating tentacles. A thin rasp came from the back of his throat, maybe heavy breathing, maybe a groan of pain. His mouth was sewn shut, but thin trails of yellow blood escaped between the stitches. At the sight of the Empress, his eyes glowed with adulation. They were the color of gold; his eyes were the color of Sollux.

_A thousand sweeps old,_ the Empress proclaimed proudly. _An infinite source of energy for her flagship with his psiionic powers._

“So he never ages inside the machine?”

_Yes,_ said the Empress.

“Could I get my hands on some of this technology?”

_Of course,_ said the Empress. _You can have whatever you want._

A trio of drones hooked it up into the center of her hive, a thick mass of cords and phalanges. It didn’t look like much of anything at first. But there was indeed a spot for a man there, and the machine was alive.

All it needed now was its host.

With the help of some scuba equipment, a promise to hold his hand the entire time, and a couple nibbling kisses at the nape of his neck that he liked so much, Sollux was convinced to take the underwater trek. He marveled at the size and complexity of the castle, a hundred times the size of his dusty apartment. He wished he could live here.

“What if I said you could?”

His powers could aerate the entire hive. He could live like a young emperor here with her, and if he needed to leave, he could just use the scuba equipment.

Sollux smiled condescendingly. He wished, but his powers were not that advanced. They’d require a focus or amplifier of some kind to do that much.

Feferi showed him the machine.

He stepped in, at first apprehensive, but then surprised as his psiionic abilities were swiftly pushed to the limits. He enjoyed the challenge of purging the hive of water, of using his empowered telekinesis on the thousands of tons of sea and salt on every side of them.

At first. After a few hours, he asked to be let out.

“No.”

No?

“No. You won’t die in there. You’ll live with me here, forever.”

He struggled and fought, but the more he resisted the machine, the greater its grip on him was- and the greater the pain. He began to scream, his voice shrill and crackling against the damp walls.

He didn’t stop those shrieks, not for hours and hours and hours. No matter how much Feferi begged him, no matter how tenderly she kissed him, all he did was scream.

It was horrifying, and in that moment Feferi knew she had erred. Let him out, and he’d surely leave, or maybe even attack her. Keep him in the machine, and it would torture him to the same state as the shell of a troll that was in the Empress’ ship.

The... _silent_ shell of a troll. That was right. His mouth, it had been sewn shut.

That couldn’t be too hard to do, could it?

She had a needle and thread on hand, and after a sharp blow to the head, her matesprit’s screaming briefly subsided. When he awoke, he tried to cry out again, only to find that they were muffled from behind his sewn shut mouth.

It didn't impede him. He cried and cried, and after her third sleepless day, Feferi had had enough. There was no reasoning with him, this was his worst mood swing yet. He had to calm down.

With her trident, she tore the stiches out. "Hold still, so I do this right."

She stuck her fingers in and ripped his tongue from his mouth.

He couldn't even scream as she repaired the needle job, apologizing repeatedly and profusely. Didn't he understand how little she wanted to hurt him? How he was forcing her hand? She couldn't bear to lose him, she needed him to understand that.

The new Sollux didn’t say much- how could he? Feferi could no longer taste the silver and honey of his mouth any longer, and all his body from the neck down was hooked into the ghastly machine. All he could really do was look at her with those sad, golden eyes.

She explained it to him patiently, time and again, but the idiot didn’t listen. Did he want to leave her stranded for millenia? Did he want her to end up old and bitter and alone like The Empress?

He answered none of these, except with the same stare.

It angered her, and she couldn’t get him to stop. Eventually, Feferi stopped staying by his side so much. She hunted for her lusus more than she used to, she slept more than she once did. When she felt like it, she visited Sollux, but he was still angry with her, and it was unfair. She saw him less and less.

But after only two short sweeps, something miraculous happened.

After her longest absence yet, a full tenth of a sweep, Feferi found Sollux’s eyes lighting up with joy at the sight of her. He made little hisses of pleasure when she kissed his face and neck, and nuzzled his head against her breast in the largest gesture of affection he was physically still capable of.

He was no longer angry. He got it, he understood why Feferi did what she did. He knew the truth, and he made her so happy.

And just like this, Feferi had no doubt, he would continue make her happy.

Forever.


End file.
